Personal finance is about values, habits and mindset and not only about money.
Dad, Is Personal Finance All About Money?
In a nutshell:
- Money is just the scoreboard – your values determine the game you’re playing
- Good financial habits reflect self-discipline, not just mathematical skill
- The wealthiest people I know aren’t those with the most zeroes in their accounts
Hot Take:
Most people struggling with money don’t have a finance problem — they have a values problem.
Dad, is personal finance all about money?
Not at all. That is like asking if marriage is all about the wedding cake.
Money talks. But most of us never learned to understand what it’s saying.
I had a student who aced every finance assignment. Perfect spreadsheets. Flawless calculations. He could recite compound interest formulas in his sleep. But when I bumped into him five years after graduation, he confessed he was drowning in debt despite a six-figure salary. All that knowledge, yet his financial house was built on sand.
That’s when it hit me: personal finance is not really about money at all.
Think about it. Why do we obsess over retirement calculators and budget apps? It’s not because we love watching numbers move around spreadsheets. It’s because we are
trying to build lives that matter to us.
When my daughter got her first real paycheque, she asked me how much she should save. Instead of giving her a percentage, I asked her what she wanted her money to do for her. Travel? Security? Freedom to quit a bad job? Her answer would determine her saving strategy far better than any rule of thumb I could offer.
Personal finance is about three things: Values, habits, and mindset.
The wealthiest people I know are not those with the biggest accounts. They are those whose spending aligns perfectly with their values, whose habits support their goals without heroic willpower, and whose mindset keeps them from comparing their financial journey to others.
So no, personal finance is not about money. Money is just the tool. Personal finance is about building the life that matters to you, brick by intentional brick.
And if you have been beating yourself up about money mistakes, remember: your bank balance is just one measure of wealth, and probably not even the most important one.
- Your values determine what you’re willing to spend on and what you’re not. My wife and I could afford a bigger house, but we value travel and education more than extra square footage. That choice isn’t about money – it’s about what brings meaning to our lives.
- As for habits, they reveal what we truly value, not what we say we value. I have a friend who claims financial independence is his top priority, yet he buys a new car every three years. His habits tell a different story than his words.
- Seneca, bless his gloomy Roman heart, once said: “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” He also wore the same toga for years and bathed in cold water, so maybe do not take all of his advice literally. But his point holds: if your wants keep expanding, your wealth will always feel small. This mindset exercise wasn’t about money – it was about freedom from anxiety.
Looking at my scrabble group offers another perspective. We have a psychologist, a teacher, a banker, and a hairdresser who play weekly. Their incomes vary wildly, but their financial happiness doesn’t correlate with their earnings. The happiest is actually the teacher, who simply aligned her spending with her values early on and stuck with modest, consistent habits.
Here’s what I wish someone had told me about personal finance when I was younger:
- Budgeting is not about restriction – it’s about making sure your money goes toward what truly matters to you
- Debt is not t always bad, but unintentional debt always is
- The gap between your income and spending matters more than the absolute size of either
- Financial mistakes are inevitable – resilience matters more than perfection
- Your relationship with money was formed in childhood, whether you realise it or not
What is personal finance really about?
It is about self-respect.
It is about emotional regulation.
It is about knowing what you truly value so your money does not go chasing what everyone else values.
You want to understand someone? Look at their calendar.
You want to understand yourself? Look at your bank statement.
Three hard truths I wish someone had told me at 25:
1. Debt is not just a financial issue—it is an emotional one.
People do not usually go into debt because they are stupid. They go into debt because they are tired, lonely, stressed, or trying to impress someone. Or all four.
2. Lifestyle creep is the sneakiest thief.
You get a raise. You celebrate. You upgrade. Suddenly the ramen is organic, the Uber is Black, and your weekend getaway requires a carry-on. You are not “rich.” You are just more expensive.
3. The goal is not to have more money—it is to need less.
Financial freedom is not about abundance. It is about sufficiency. That word should be tattooed on every teenager’s arm: sufficiency. Knowing when enough is enough.
So what do I tell my own kids?
Figure out what you care about. Then spend on that without guilt. But cut ruthlessly on everything else. Your money should reflect your heart, not your insecurity.”
She looked at me, nodded, and promptly spent half of it on concert tickets and bubble tea.
Progress, not perfection.